{"id":3548,"date":"2025-04-01T10:57:01","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T02:57:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong?p=3548"},"modified":"2025-07-29T16:51:39","modified_gmt":"2025-07-29T08:51:39","slug":"no-not-allowed-no-does-it-really-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong?p=3548&lang=en","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;No!&#8221; &#8220;Not allowed!&#8221; &#8220;No!&#8221; Does it really work?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3548\" class=\"elementor elementor-3548\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e978015 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e978015\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-157839c\" data-id=\"157839c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bf23874 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"bf23874\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"580\" height=\"431\" src=\"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-768x571.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-3539\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-768x571.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-300x223.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 580px) 100vw, 580px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-432f1be elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"432f1be\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist, Ip Wai Lun<\/p><p>Many times, parents get angry because their children don&#8217;t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn&#8217;t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, &#8220;Hey! Don&#8217;t touch it!&#8221; and &#8220;No!&#8221; and &#8220;Stop&#8221;, the child will hear many of these &#8220;No! and &#8220;No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.<\/p><p>As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?<\/p><p>For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following &#8220;three-step&#8221; approach.<\/p><p><strong><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">Part I: Say How He Feels<\/span><\/strong><br \/>&#8220;Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are &#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;Look at your red face. &#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><strong><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">Part 2: Setting boundaries<\/span><\/strong><br \/>When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: &#8220;Okay, we can\u2019t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><strong><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion<\/span><\/strong><br \/>If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.<\/p><p>For example, the parent can say, &#8220;Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don&#8217;t you show Daddy how angry you are? &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you hit this shark doll?&#8221;<\/p><p>Maybe the child will say, &#8220;Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, &#8220;Oh, Daddy can really see that you are very angry.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ce0dd86 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"ce0dd86\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"580\" height=\"387\" src=\"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-768x513.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-3541\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 580px) 100vw, 580px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-550353b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"550353b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they will be accepted by the parents.<\/p><p>If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children&#8217;s negative emotions, but also they will not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-da3be02 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"da3be02\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/www.karlam.edu.hk\/yuenlong\/?page_id=2510&#038;lang=en\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Back<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist, Ip W [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3540,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;No!&quot; &quot;Not allowed!&quot; &quot;No!&quot; Does it really work? - \u73c8\u7433\u4e2d\u82f1\u6587\u5e7c\u7a1a\u5712 Karlam Anglo-Chinese Kindergarten<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" 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